President Trump, troubled by the recent North Korean medium-range missile test in the South China Sea, decided to go ahead and call Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un to discuss the matter. No sitting president has ever spoken to Jong-Un personally. According to a woman sitting at the table next to him at Tavern on the Green who overheard the conversation, Trump was extremely forceful and very presidential:
“He wasn’t pussyfooting around,” said Marles Sargent-White, “the entire call lasted under 10 minutes and it ended with President Trump telling the little man not to mess with the USA or his ‘stupid little island would glow like the sun for 10,000 years.’ It was very manly and impressive.”
Sean Spicer confirmed the call during a press conference, noting that there are already some positive reactions in the region:
“It looks like Kin Jong-Un is bringing all of his military hardware out to be inspected just as the president demanded. So far we can see a fleet of trucks carrying missiles headed towards the coast and nearly a million troops mobilized to help with the inspection process. They’re even heading down south to greet the South Koreans in the demilitarized zone. Looks like they’re really shaken up and afraid.”
The liberal media is reporting that the activity looks more like Jong-Un is gearing up to defend his country against the invasion Trump promised, and some have even put forth the ridiculous notion that the movement towards the south looks more like an invasion force looking to seek refuge from American bombers.
Fortunately, liberals have no idea about what war and patriotism and service are actually all about, so we’ll go ahead and follow the lead of our own supreme commander, Donald Trump.