BREAKING NEWS: Bill Clinton Calls Reporter So He Can ‘Die With A Clean Conscience’

The City of Little Rock is filling up with members of the Clinton family as they reportedly prepare for the final departure of Wiliam Jefferson Clinton from this earth. What they didn’t know is that while they prepare to say goodbye, President Clinton has been making his own arrangements.

A reporter for a small paper in Limerick, the first to ever interview Clinton when he was running for governor, has been called to the Clinton Presidential Library to interview the ailing former commander-in-chief. The interview, which will be an exclusive, is being held so Clinton can “die with a clean conscience.”

Whether that means he’s going to confess to all of his affairs, to his dirty dealings over Whitewater or to the numerous coverups he and his wife have been involved in over the years remains to be seen. Hopefully he can put to rest the questions left for too many families of dead reporters, aides and friends who came just a little bit too close to taking down a political dynasty.

We’ll update the story as soon as the details of the interview are released.

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